One of my pet peeves is to hear adults call children”bad”. It really drives me nuts. I wrote this on 10 September 2010 during my first few weeks of teaching and nearly seven and half years later I still feel the same way.
Teacher: *sigh* he’s sooooooooooo bad!
Me: He seems to be making some bad choices, but I don’t believe there is a such thing as a “bad” child.
*silence*
Teacher: Yeah okay. Tell me if you feel like that after your first month of teaching.
This is a conversation I’ve had more than once since starting my first year of full time teaching. It’s often followed by a pat on the back and some comment about how sweet first year teachers are. Yes, this is my first year of teaching but it isnt my first year in education. I have tutored DC youth at every grade level, worked as a manager for 14-19 year olds for 2 summers, and ran the afterschool program at an all boys pre-school to 3rd grade school. Through all of that my belief has stayed the same–there is no such thing as a bad child.
Children need structure and consistency. When either is lacking or non-existent it is impossible for them to learn how to make good decisions. I teach 20 bubbly, inquisitive, affectionate, loving, inspiring 4 year olds every day. Do they sometimes challenge me? Yes. Is it my responsibility to provide for them a structured, consistent, and safe environment for them to learn? Absolutely. If I don’t provide this will there be mayhem. Undoubtedly.
William Glasser’s Choice Theory says that humans have five basic needs, though the degree varies to how much we need each area. The five needs are:
to survive
to belong
to have power
to have freedom
to have fun
These same needs are necessary in my classroom to keep everyone on task. Any off task behavior can be related to one of these needs not being met. For example, I have a particular student with a very strict father and directs everything in my student’s life. This student lacks the need to have power and to have freedom. For a 4 year old this is possible. My kids appreciate being able to choose whether or not they will have an apple or a pear for snack. They also love being able to pick which center they get to play in for the morning. With this particular student I have seen him so happy to be able to pick which type of juice to have with snack and I have seen him so defeated when his dad forced him to color his self-portrait on brown construction paper and not white paper with a brown crayon.
Glasser goes on to say, “Students are capable of understanding what is generally regarded as acceptable school behavior and can choose to behave in acceptable ways.” However, in order to make good choices, students must see the results of these choices as desirable. If bad behavior gets them what they want then they will make bad choices. This is where the teacher can be influential in helping students become aware that they choose their own actions. The teacher forces them to acknowledge their behavior and to make value judgments about it. The teacher refuses to accept excuses for bad behavior. Instead the teacher always directs the student’s attention to alternative, more acceptable, behavior. The essence of discipline then, lies in helping students make good choices.
I am super happy that I don’t generally have any behavior issues in my classroom, but it is definitely a problem in my school. It’s such an issue that we have had several staff meetings on school-wide discipline plan, behavior logs, and conduct cards. The teachers that seems to be struggling are ones that make excuses or brush students’ choices off with things like, “Well, so and so comes from a tough family so what do you expect.” Sue Atkins once said, “Keep on telling me what I am, and that’s what I’ll become.”
Labeling a child, whether it be negative or positive, can be damaging.
